November 2010
October 2010
“Empty pockets never held anyone back, only empty heads and empty hearts can do that”
—unknown (via youngnoutrage)
Texted
(I was texting with a friend earlier in the day about my lack of any sexual activity for the last seven weeks. Naturally, I propositioned her.)
Me: Handjob?
Her: Headrub.
Me: Make the HJ happen.
Her: What’s the incentive?
Me: My dick is awesome and magical.
Her: You are a fool.
Me: It cures cancer, sings showtunes flawlessly, and grants wishes.
